Mother’s Day with Ms Tholoana Jane
A few weeks ago, I paid a visit to one of the most elegant women in town, Ms Tholoana Jane. Tholoana and I went to High School together. I remember her as an exceptionally well-dressed lady, with an easy-going yet firm personality. I caught her almost on her way out to a party, with a full face of makeup (which she does herself, by the way), looking like she’d just stepped out of a Hrush Achemyn glam room.
As I prepared to park in the driveway of her beautiful home, I was first greeted by her fur-baby, Tyler and then by her beautiful baby boy, Seeiso. Her home is inviting, with contemporary art lining the walls. A stylised hallway has a full-length mirror overlooking two occasional chairs and a small side table. Relaxed and welcoming, the new mom talked to me about the things that make her life beautiful. Here’s how it went down:
What surprised you the most about being a mom?
It’s the feeling you get. The almost paranoid feeling that you need to get your act together for your child. You don’t really feel it until you’re actually a mom. I want my son to look at me and think, ‘Wow, my mom is such a hard worker’. I never thought I’d ever feel that way in my life.
At what age do you think you’ll allow him to start using social media?
Kids are kids, you know, they don’t know better, so they’ll always do what most excites them. But I think that I’ll allow it when he’s around 18 years old. Social media can be a little toxic sometimes and cause unnecessary pressure on kids. I don’t want my child to feel that kind of pressure when he isn’t ready for it.
How has your relationship with money changed?
I believe in saving and I’m not particularly eager to waste money. Saving is a habit that I developed in childhood so, it’s not hard for me to do it. Now that I have a baby, it’s a must-do for me. The only difference is, now I think about investments. As a mom, though I’m fortunate to have a supportive partner, I want to have an input in securing my child’s future. Also, I love taking care of my loved ones, i.e. my sisters, and my mom. So I’m looking into building up a good investment portfolio so that in the future I can have the means to help my family when they need me. My mom, especially, has been there for me my whole life and it would make me proud to be able to do the same thing for her.
But having said that, to keep life interesting, I like to pamper myself every now and then. I also like to pamper my little one. Splurging, for me, isn’t necessarily about material things. Just going out to a kid-friendly restaurant where I can watch him play is pampering enough for me. It warms my heart, truly, to watch him do that. So yeah, I have a very healthy relationship with money.
How are you spending mothers’ day?
I started a tradition last year of lunching with my mom and my sisters. We had lunch at Avani Maseru and I’d brought gifts for everyone. It wasn’t anything big but it felt good. We’re bringing it back this year and I hope to make it a little bigger and find better gifts. We’ll be celebrating our mom and at the same time celebrating ourselves as mothers. I have 3 sisters but, one of my sisters is married and lives in Tanzania so she won’t be around. I also like that my son is a little older now and he’ll be able to run around and play with his cousins since my sisters are also moms. The last time he was too young, he wasn’t even walking yet.
How has your personal style evolved since you became a mom?
Naturally, we know that when you fall pregnant you put on weight but I didn’t put on that much weight until after my baby was born. I was very uncomfortable then, not quite sure what my style was anymore because I wasn’t used to that weight. Even though people would say that I still looked good and dressed really well, I was a little insecure. Even the section you go to changes, you know, in the shops.
With time though, I got the hang of it and started liking and enjoying a more mature, more elegant look. When I got my normal body weight back, I kept the new refined style. Obviously, sometimes we put on weight, sometimes we don’t. I find that good quality clothes, though a little pricey, look good on me throughout these seasons. I’m very comfortable with my new style. Fortunately for me, I have a loving partner who really enjoys the way that I dress. He’ll tell me, ‘Oh you look hot today, you look really good.’ It makes me very happy.
I’ve recently made it official on my blog that every woman is allowed at least one luxury in their life that they can’t compromise on. What’s that for you?
Clothes are very important to me; they’ve always been ever since I was young. I think that if I worked in corporate everyone would think that I’m turning the office into a fashion show (laughs). I believe that even if you have a bank balance of zero; when you make it a point to look your best, people will always take you seriously.
Speaking of clothes, what are your favourite fashion trends this winter season?
I don’t really follow trends. But I do enjoy the get ready with me TikTok videos. I especially like Siyabunny’s videos, I like the way that she dresses. I recently went to Sandton and liked a lot of things that are in the shops for this season. But I think that some of the most important things right now are coats. I got a few of them because I was saying to myself, ‘I really want to look good this winter.’ I like a nice pair of formal Palazzo pants with a slim belt. And then of course shoes. A good pair of boots is a must-have.
What are your 3 go-to beauty products?
Lip: The Fenty Icon Velvet Liquid Lipstick in The MVP which was a hit following Rihanna’s Apple Music Super Bowl performance earlier this year.
Makeup: I like the Estee Lauder and Mac foundations. At the moment, I’m using the Estee Lauder Double Wear Liquid Foundation in the shade Bronze 5w1. I like how it sits on the skin.
Scent: funnily enough, I don’t buy myself perfumes. My partner buys them for me and I’m always pleasantly surprised by how well he knows me. There isn’t one fragrance that he’s bought that I haven’t fallen in love with. But there’s one that I sampled not too long ago; Violet Eyes Eau de Parfum Spray by Elizabeth Taylor. I love it, it smells delicious. I change parfum to match a season.
What’s next for Ms Tholoana?
I want to be a professional chef. During lockdown, when there wasn’t much to do, and then having someone I really wanted to impress and who enjoyed my cooking, I developed a passion for cooking. I realized then that I’d love to do it professionally. I want Seeiso to someday think, ‘Man, I really miss my mom’s cooking.’ So I’m still surfing the internet for good culinary schools.
Other than that it’s fashion and influencer marketing. I want to inspire people to look and feel their best. In December last year, I attended an event hosted by Black Diamond Events to which I wore a pink dress. (With matching gloves and a Fedora hat, she looked breathtaking). I’d curated the outfit myself and had enjoyed the process. When I walked in, late as always – by the way, I’m always late, even if I wake up early (laughs) – everyone was fascinated. After the event, the host phoned me to say, ‘You looked amazing! You have inspired me to start a new culture of awarding prizes for my best-dressed attendees in the future.’ Her comment was quite a confidence booster. I feel like I’m really good at this, that I have a discerning eye for fashion.
QUICK FIRE ROUND
1. Recommend a recipe for Mother’s Day
Try my Creamy Pasta and Salmon recipe.
2. What’s the one thing that’s always in your car, no matter what?
My handbag.
3. What’s the cutest thing your son says or does?
His first words were ‘Mama’, ‘Dada’, and ‘Tyler’. And I love it when he says ‘Mama’. But lately, I’ve heard him call me ‘baby’ and he calls me that because that’s how I address his dad. Also recently, because my hairstyle has gel in it, sometimes I like to pat my head when I feel a little tingling. He imitates me when I do it and it makes me laugh.
4. Coffee or tea?
Neither. I’m a hot chocolate woman. But most of the time I like fruit juice. In the morning, I take my breakfast with fruit juice, not a hot beverage.
I cannot even begin to tell you how fun this interview was; two women having an easy conversation and laughing about little silly things. Every time she talked about her son, she wore a different smile. It is evident that she quite prides herself in being a mom. I was not only captivated by her infectious positive energy, but, I was very pleased to hear that she truly cares about her peers. She touched on the importance of lifting others up through charity. I also like that she’s business-minded and, I hope to keep up with her in another interview during the course of the year.
